Day 19--November 13, 2008

Day 19—November 13, 2008

Today was a very eventful last day. We started out by signing documents with our coordinator for two hours this a.m. (and missing our morning session with Aidar) to being informed that our coordinator needed three copies of our photos (one from each day) to submit to court (which meant scrambling to get more pictures printed) to an afternoon session (again, interrupting our visit with Aidar) in which we almost could not tell Aidar that we would be leaving for a while, but would come back for him (the coordinator said that someone would tell him after we left). I have to give kudos to John for tracking down someone who spoke both Russian and Kazakh (Aidar only understands Kazakh) to explain to him what was going on. I’m sure he knew something was wrong when we didn’t show up this a.m. and then there were a number of people in the playroom who were meeting with me to answer our U.S. pediatrician’s questions. After he was told that John and I were leaving, he was very sad and just sat in my arms as I rocked him. John and I were in tears, too. We had to change our disposition for him, though, and we ended on a happy note. We left a stuffed dog with him (wait until he meets the real thing!) and a photo album of pictures of him, Karis, John, and me. We take comfort in knowing that everyone who works at the baby house will take good care of him. They love him dearly and will be sure that he is OK.

Our coordinator assured us that she could not request a court hearing date until all documents are complete—including the U.S. gov’t 171-H. So, who knows when we will be back in Almaty. We have documents that are on their way, and documents to send when we return, but we still need to do the fingerprinting for the 600-A application so that they can do the background check. I only hope that Aidar does not lose faith. We were told today that since we arrived, he has become happy and much more active. We can’t imagine him any other way.

So, it will be a bittersweet homecoming for us. Words cannot express how much we want to see Karis and all of our friends and family, but we also cannot express how sad we are to be leaving Aidar behind in the baby house (Baby House #1 in Almaty).

We had a great dinner with Marianne tonight. She is such a good friend. It’s like we’ve known each other for years. I know she will stay close to those from Belgium, and another family is arriving on Friday, so she will be in good company. She has done so much to make our trip more enjoyable. I truly hope that everything works out for her and the beautiful little girl with whom she is bonding..

So, our driver will be here at 1:00 a.m. (trust me—it’s not a limo driver) to take us to the airport for a 4:00 a.m flight to Frankfurt. I’m sure it will go quickly since we will most likely be sleeping the whole way there. If we don’t sleep on the way to Frankfurt, we’ll get a second chance on the way to Dallas. And another chance on the way to Raleigh-Durham….

We’ll let you know more as we know more, but our blog might be hit or miss for a little while. Thanks for checking in. For those of you adopting, please feel free to email us at cindiehale@hotmail.com and we can chat more. We wish everyone the best.

Cindie and John

Day 19--November 13, 2008

Day 19—November 13, 2008

Today was a very eventful last day. We started out by signing documents with our coordinator for two hours this a.m. (and missing our morning session with Aidar) to being informed that our coordinator needed three copies of our photos (one from each day) to submit to court (which meant scrambling to get more pictures printed) to an afternoon session (again, interrupting our visit with Aidar) in which we almost could not tell Aidar that we would be leaving for a while, but would come back for him (the coordinator said that someone would tell him after we left). I have to give kudos to John for tracking down someone who spoke both Russian and Kazakh (Aidar only understands Kazakh) to explain to him what was going on. I’m sure he knew something was wrong when we didn’t show up this a.m. and then there were a number of people in the playroom who were meeting with me to answer our U.S. pediatrician’s questions. After he was told that John and I were leaving, he was very sad and just sat in my arms as I rocked him. John and I were in tears, too. We had to change our disposition for him, though, and we ended on a happy note. We left a stuffed dog with him (wait until he meets the real thing!) and a photo album of pictures of him, Karis, John, and me. We take comfort in knowing that everyone who works at the baby house will take good care of him. They love him dearly and will be sure that he is OK.

Our coordinator assured us that she could not request a court hearing date until all documents are complete—including the U.S. gov’t 171-H. So, who knows when we will be back in Almaty. We have documents that are on their way, and documents to send when we return, but we still need to do the fingerprinting for the 600-A application so that they can do the background check. I only hope that Aidar does not lose faith. We were told today that since we arrived, he has become happy and much more active. We can’t imagine him any other way.

So, it will be a bittersweet homecoming for us. Words cannot express how much we want to see Karis and all of our friends and family, but we also cannot express how sad we are to be leaving Aidar behind in the baby house (Baby House #1 in Almaty).

We had a great dinner with Marianne tonight. She is such a good friend. It’s like we’ve known each other for years. I know she will stay close to those from Belgium, and another family is arriving on Friday, so she will be in good company. She has done so much to make our trip more enjoyable. I truly hope that everything works out for her and the beautiful little girl with whom she is bonding..

So, our driver will be here at 1:00 a.m. (trust me—it’s not a limo driver) to take us to the airport for a 4:00 a.m flight to Frankfurt. I’m sure it will go quickly since we will most likely be sleeping the whole way there. If we don’t sleep on the way to Frankfurt, we’ll get a second chance on the way to Dallas. And another chance on the way to Raleigh-Durham….

We’ll let you know more as we know more, but our blog might be hit or miss for a little while. Thanks for checking in. For those of you adopting, please feel free to email us at cindiehale@hotmail.com and we can chat more. We wish everyone the best.

Cindie and John

Day 18--November 12, 2008

Day 18—November 12, 2008

Today was a frustrating day, only to be complimented by two great visits with Aidar. As I’ve said, expect the unexpected.

Aidar picked up a crayon and said “red” today as best he could, which made us so happy. But the exciting event was that he blew bunches of bubbles!!!! We were all so proud!!! We have recorded a lot of video to show everyone. We watched some of it with Aidar this afternoon; he is always mesmerized. Most of the snow has melted, but there is still some on the pine trees. He likes to shake the branches and have it fall on him. John tasted the snow from a branch, and thought Aidar would do the same, but, instead, Aidar shook the branch to make the snow fall on John. The kid has a great sense of humor!

He worked on he puzzle much more attentively this a.m., and we blew up a lot of balloons for him. We threw them up in the air, and he kicked them around (our future soccer player). He still laughs when we blow one up and then let it go flying around the room.

Tonight, we went to dinner with some Belgian friends we met as well as with Marianne. We had a great time. One of our regrets of leaving tomorrow is that we will miss those we’ve come to know. The Belgian family was told that they would be able to adopt a healthy girl, only to be told once they got here that she was HIV positive, and that there was “probably a mistake” with the test. Belgium will not allow and HIV child to be adopted, and everyone (including their adoption agency) suggested they pass, so they will be adopting another son instead. Can you imagine the emotions that must evoke?

We walked Marianne to her apartment and were stopped by three policemen when we arrived at the alley to our apartment. It was good to see them, since a car with two guys had just pulled out of the alley, and then stopped, and the guys got out. The police asked for our passports, asked if we were Italian, and then let us go. They didn’t ask the guys for any ID, and the guys went into the first door of the apartment building (we live at the third door). I had read in the past about someone not having a good experience with the police, so I had a slight reservation, but they gave me a slight comfort feeling as well in that dark alley. Unfortunately, they didn’t stay to make sure the guys weren’t going to jump us, but we obviously got home safely.

Tomorrow, we have to sign a Power of Attorney form and have it notarized with our coordinator and then meet with the director at some point to have our pediatrician’s questions answered. Throw that in with two visits with Aidar and preparing to leave at 4:00 a.m., and we have a busy day ahead of us. With that, I’ll make this a short blog, and we’ll see everyone on Friday.

Day 17--November 11, 2008

Day 17—November 11, 2008

It is FREEZING here. All I have is a long sweater coat, so it is a longer walk to the orphanage now than it was last week. We took Aidar out to play in the snow this a.m., and played for just a short while before we took him inside. Finally—the kid had mittens on his hands. We wish we were as lucky! He loves throwing the snow up in the air and having it fall on him. When it falls in his eyes, he just turns toward us with his eyes closed and a big grin on his face. We wipe the snow away, and it inevitably happens again! John showed Aidar how to taste the snow; he got a big kick out of that. He is so open to anything new. He cleaned the snow off of one of the small horse statues on the grounds, and was astonished that his mittens had snow all over them. When he looked at his jacket and jeans, he was covered with snow. He looked surprised and then just laughed. What an easy-going guy.

We were barely inside the door to go to the playroom when the director of the orphanage told John that we had to bring Aidar to his group, and we had to leave; they had an inspection today. John and I assumed that they were having an inspection soon, since they were doing spring-cleaning in the midst of winter. But, it didn’t make sense to us as to why they asked us to leave. We understand that they probably needed a headcount, but we were the prospective parents of a child; we were fulfilling our fourteen-day bonding period; and, God forbid that we look like we might actually be a happy family in the days to come. Again, more bureaucracy.

We went back this afternoon, and everything was fine. Their inspection went well, and we were able to play with Aidar for our regular time period. We actually saw the same family whose coordinator had asked about Aidar. The dad spoke English, and we chatted a little bit. They are from Italy, and do not yet have a child, yet there they were at the baby house (I’ve learned recently that the younger children are in “baby houses”, and the older children are in orphanages). There are so many different ways to handle an adoption.

We met a family the other day from Belgium. They are incredibly nice, and are adopting a child from another baby house. We were in a restaurant, and, when I said “Thank you” to the server (one of the two Russian words I know), a cute little four-year-old boy at the next table said “She said ‘spaseeblah’!” (that’s how it’s pronounced—I don’t have a clue how it’s spelled). We all laughed and started chatting. We ran into them the next day on the street, exchanged emails and subsequently set up dinner plans. They were told not to bring their son to the orphanage any more. It’s too bad because now they have to alternate days to see their adoptive son, and their son can’t see his new brother. Someone suggested that it could be that healthy children disrupt the flow of how things work in an orphanage/baby house. It’s a very reasonable assumption to me.

We were able to change our flights to Friday. We tried last night, but Lufthansa can’t do any updates to international flights from their website. So, we had to call this a.m. Get this, though: their hours don’t begin until 11:00 a.m.! I need to work there ;-) And, our flight leaves at 4:10 a.m. I have no idea how we’re going to get through the night. At any rate, we’re looking forward to coming home. We wish we could bring Aidar with us. It seems we can have one child or the other, but not both. Time to go…..we’re going to try to pack some stuff tonight.

Day 16--November 10, 2008

Day 16—November 10, 2008

Winter is still here, and the last thing I need (in the U.S.) is another winter coat, so I’m just cold all of the time now. So, we’re moving very quickly in this brisk weather. It’s no colder than a winter day in New England, but need I remind anyone why I moved from New England to North Carolina?

John and I had another great visit with Aidar. His comprehension of the English language is impressive—it is incredible how much he understands of what we’re saying. We’ve been here almost 3 weeks, and all I can say in Russian is “Thank you” and “Have a nice day”. Ooops! John just corrected me and told me that I have NOT been saying “Have a nice day”, but have been saying “Goodbye” instead.

He and John were playing a game of “who can get the Lego piece first”, and John beat him a few times until Aydar held out, watched John’s eyes, and then quickly switched hands on John when he went to grab the piece. Pretty tricky! He liked the mini-Doodle pad that Marianne gave him (much like the kind that Beth gave Karis—you draw on it and then slide a bar to erase). We drew triangles and squares (I helped him), and he drew a lot of scribbles and circles. He tries to speak English—he attempted to say “line” numerous times as he drew the sides to the shapes, and he tries to count in English. And he always says (as he signs) “I love you!”

He loves to have John blow up balloons, but he doesn’t do much with them once they’re inflated. Marianne also gave us a Sesame Street puzzle that had fewer and much larger pieces than the one we bought for him. He was slightly more interested, which is a good sign.

We’re going to meet with the orphanage director again tomorrow to try to get some answers to questions our doctor had re Aidar. I would recommend that people get an evaluation from a Western trained doctor (we went to the international SOS clinic). One nice thing is that the SOS clinic translated the summary from the orphanage in addition to its own report. We were given more information than the orphanage provided, and, after we scanned it and sent it to Karis’s pediatrician, her doctor had some additional questions based on the SOS report. We are sure everything is fine and that he will catch up to other children in the expected timeframe, but it would be nice to have as much history as possible. Sasha (our coordinator’s son who speaks English) is supposed to translate for us, but he is sick today. I’m not sure that I want to be around anyone who is sick when we have only a few days left.

We had one concern today…as we were bringing Aidar back to his playroom for lunch, there was a family in the waiting area with their coordinator. The coordinator asked in English if Aidar were the child with the problem with his mouth. We said “yes” and heard him telling the family about him as we took Aidar to his room. When we returned, they were no longer there. We went to the grocery store, but the whole time wondered how he knew about Aidar. Our minds went off on a tangent, and we wondered, “Were they the parents who want to appeal the adoption?”; “Are they another Kazkah family who will appeal our adoption?” (Kazkah families are given priority); “Were they given the option of adopting Aidar from another agency?”; “Is Aidar off of the adoption roster now that we’ve applied for a new name for him?” John went back to the orphanage to see what he could find out, but the family was gone, and the director told John that everything is OK (not that she would tell him if it weren’t). I guess we have a lot of questions for our adoption agency.

One thing we’ve learned, however, is to not make any assumptions about anything. We can’t assume that he is definitely our’s until the court makes it official, but we’ll make ourselves crazy if we think that he will be given to someone else. We’ve heard the horror stories about adoptions falling through, but we just have to hope that it will all work out in the end.....

(11:00 p.m.) It's snowing again. I'm ready for NC weather. OK, we saw Olga today and she said that she had no idea why those people were asking about Aidar, and that Aidar is off the roster for any agency. So, he is no longer available for adoption. Phew! We just need a court date now (and an apostilled background check along with a couple of marriage certificates).

We had a great visit again with Aidar this afternoon. John threw snow up in the air, and Aidar got a big kick out of that. He liked having it fall on his head. He liked throwing snowballs on the ground, too. And, they had a little snowball fight J We also played with the balloons in the playroom. Aidar loves to let the air out of them and see them fly across the room. He laughs hysterically. Little cutie!

Marianne and we went to the mall tonight. We ate at the food court, where there is also an ice skating rink. The little girls skating were so cute! It was nice to get out and do something. For anyone who will be traveling in the future, bring a flashlight. The entrance to Marianne’s elevator is pitch black (literally), and the alley to our apartment building can get pretty dark, too.

We’re going to try to change our flight reservations to Friday. The orphanage said that the first day did not count toward our 14-day bonding period. We have yet to have an answer as to why, and it will cost us hundreds of dollars to change our flight, but we look forward to coming home. We only wish we could bring Aidar with us.

Day 15--November 9, 2008

Day 15—November 9, 2008

Let me repeat: we live up NINE FLIGHTS of stairs!

Winter has arrived. Brrrrr!!!!!! It was snowing when we woke up this a.m., and we were surprised to see how much it had snowed overnight. There were a couple of inches on the ground. And it was good snow—wet and sticky—good for snowballs. Everything looked so pretty. We didn’t really bring warm coats, but we did OK. We imagine it is really nice here in the spring. There are a lot of (dead) rosebushes and a lot of (empty) fountains.

We got to the orphanage, and they brought him to us had dressed Aidar for outside, but not nearly as warmly as they dress him for when it’s 50 degrees. He had on a dress shirt, jeans, long johns, a coat and a hat. No scarf and no mittens. Aidar was excited about the snow. He tried telling us the Kazakh word for it, but, of course, we didn’t have a clue. John and Aidar made snowballs, and shook the snow from the trees; we put our footprints next to each other and took a picture. We didn’t make snow angels—we didn’t want to get scolded ;-) We finally went inside when Aidar’s hands started to turn red.

He enjoyed playing with his block set again today. He wasn’t interested in the puzzle, still, so we’re going to give up on that for this trip. He mocked John this a.m. He was trying to get the videotape as John was working with the video camera, and John told him “No”. Aidar looked at John with a big grin on his face, and said to John “No!” He doesn’t yet know when to differentiate when it’s funny (like with me) and when it’s not a good idea ;-)

John has made some fantastic dinners the last couple of nights. One night, he made chicken, a yummy sauce, rice, peas, corn and bread with olive oil. Last night, he made tortellini with shrimp in a tomato sauce, leftover steak, mixed vegetables, and bread with olive oil. This afternoon, he made deviled eggs. Tonight, we had pizza and beer at Marianne’s apartment. So much for hoping to lose weight!

It’s really nice to have Marianne here. She has been a lot of fun. John feels like he can’t get a word in edgewise when I’m with Marianne—I don’t shut up! She showed us the hotel she had stayed in last time, and it looked like it was going to fall down any second. There are no nice places here other than a couple of hotels that are pretty pricey (the lowest price we saw was $150 per night). I guess everyone spends money on stiletto boots instead of a decent place to live.

Marianne gave us some more toys for Aidar. She is so sweet. I know he will be thrilled. Again, for anyone adopting a child older than a year: bring toys (or buy them here). And bring mittens!

We hope everyone had fun at Karis’s and Alexa’s party today. We can’t wait to see pictures and hear stories! Miss you!